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Clarity

February 21, 2007

Sometimes it all just comes together at once.   No, not the fact that Achewood and The Dugout are in the middle of two of their best weeks in recent memory, or that pitchers and catchers are working out in Florida. This is actually pretty serious.  

I’m feeling unabashedly optimistic for the first time in months.  The odd thing is that it’s not for any one reason in particular, rather it’s the convergence of several things that have been building up for a while.  Today is Ash Wednesday, and for the first time in my life I dragged myself out of bed and went to the service that Christ the King had this morning.  I’ve been really wrestling with my sin recently, after an extended period in my life where I was getting frighteningly good at brushing it under the rug.  For a number of reasons, what was once cold is warm again, and the service this morning was another big step in that direction.  When Paul handed me the wine with the words, “Taste and see that the Lord is good”, it actually meant something to me for the first time in a long time; moreover, it did taste good in a way that I can’t even put into words. 

After the service, I went out for coffee with friends, which served as a reminder of the great level of fellowship and encouragement that I have been blessed with, and that I often fail to recognize.  I’m a very social person, but I very rarely avail myself of the resources that my circle of friends represent.  Having been burned in the past has made me reluctant to open up at any significant level, and as a result people don’t always know what I’m really dealing with on a day to day basis.  Trust has been built up over the past couple of years to the point where I have many sounding boards for my wild-ass theories and plans.  I don’t thank my friends enough (mostly because there’s no greater conversation killer among guys than that kind of Lifetime Original Movie emoting), but I’ll take this as an opportunity to do so. 

Finally, it’s absolutely gorgeous outside today.  The sun is bright, it’s in the mid-70’s, and there’s a gentle breeze fluttering around.  It’s sunroof weather.  The new Explosions In The Sky record came out this week(it’s phenomenal, “hairs on the back of your neck stand up” kind of stuff), and with that in the cd player, the sunroof open, and the Mini fired up, it was awfully tempting to just blow off work and drive around for a few hours.  But then there’s the other piece of good news: I closed my first official sale for the new job yesterday, so there’s a lot to take care of related to that.   

Life is good.  I’m more blessed than I ever could have imagined, and way more than I deserve.  And I believe it’s going to get even better.  Not bad for a day that began with anguish over my own brokenness.

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5 comments

  1. ‘props.


  2. It’s good to see that you are getting some things worked out. Congratulations on the series of successes. I just have one question though: Why is there a Dido song stuck in my head now?


  3. We are so going to toast that new sale tomorrow night. (With water.) 😉


  4. Glad to hear you got a sale. Hope it’s followed by more.

    Also, all your optimism is making the bad weather and isolation worse. Not that I want you to cut it out; I’m just kvetching.


  5. Yay for 7am, for friends, for clarity, and especially for sunroofs.



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